Pulling away Mac had to get out the bath. He had been in there too long, he couldn’t stay in the water and try to have this conversation with Al. Drying himself, he stayed in the room, as he spoke.
“Yet you expect me to give up everything I have fought hard to become, to give you what you want.
But it isn't about that is it, but Selene. If I could change how I felt about her, I would. It doesn’t change one single fact about us; I can’t be what you want me to be. You want the husband. The family man. The man who does the nine to five routine to come home to a cooked dinner and laundry folded up neatly in the corner. I’m not that man, Al.
…I never was.”
It hurt him to say those words, but he knew that was the truth. “We talk about what will kill you, so lets talk about what will kill me. Taking away who I have become to be your husband. I’m your lover. Your partner. Our relationship can’t be husband and---“
He almost cut himself off from saying the word, but said it anyway, “…wife. I’m not your husband to your wife. That’d kill me.
Never once have I taken a male lover outside of you and likely never will again. I was faithful to you, Al. And trusted you completely. What kills me is knowing you will not give me the same trust.”
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-02-21 10:42 pm (UTC)“Yet you expect me to give up everything I have fought hard to become, to give you what you want.
But it isn't about that is it, but Selene. If I could change how I felt about her, I would. It doesn’t change one single fact about us; I can’t be what you want me to be. You want the husband. The family man. The man who does the nine to five routine to come home to a cooked dinner and laundry folded up neatly in the corner. I’m not that man, Al.
…I never was.”
It hurt him to say those words, but he knew that was the truth. “We talk about what will kill you, so lets talk about what will kill me. Taking away who I have become to be your husband. I’m your lover. Your partner. Our relationship can’t be husband and---“
He almost cut himself off from saying the word, but said it anyway, “…wife. I’m not your husband to your wife. That’d kill me.
Never once have I taken a male lover outside of you and likely never will again. I was faithful to you, Al. And trusted you completely. What kills me is knowing you will not give me the same trust.”